just finished our third long exam today. whew! it wasn't that difficult. or so i think... i hope my grade is good, no make that great... haha... next and final exam, March 25, 2006. when the exam was finished, i saw my classmate, Kimmy, going up the stairs. She said she didn't wake up on time. she didn't make it to the exam. i wonder if our professor let her take the exam...

anyway, it's amazing how people's lives are intertwined and more often than not it gets tangled up... you know how it is here in the Philippines, you call every old lady you're aunt even though she's not a sister of either you're mom or dad and how everyone in your community knows everybody or how people become relatives even when they're cousins in their nth roots..well like mark's (my rockstar crush) and my life is somewhat "linked". i had this classmate in my tennis class who knew him. she's the one who told me his name and his band and the courting activities of mark.. haha.. and then just this noon, i found out that another classmate of mine in philosophy knows him. mark became greg's classmate last semester in bowling. greg says he wasn't much of a talker, very aloof. he preferred to stay in the corner and leave everyone else. i knew that. he has this really mystifying, dismal, always-in-deep-thought aura that's going on around him. well, you know how a rockstar is. how distant and detached from the world around them sometimes. anyway back to mixed up lives, does this mean that destiny is pulling us together, little by little, by channeling us together through other people or am i yet again in a state of wishful fancy?

we learned in buddhist philosophy that we shouldn't interfere with the natural way of things, like everything happens by itself. things should come as naturally to achieve nirvana. like breathing, it comes naturally that we don't have to think about it anymore for us to able to do it. doing something for nothing. it says that we should be unattached to things. because if we were, then it would be a strain doing it. TRUE but isn't the reason why we're doing things is for a purpose. and there is that drive that helps us achieve these things.? i don't know... life is so complicated as it is. crazy philosophers made it even more complex. even gave me headaches... in love, they say we are not suppose to look for it, it'll come to us. but what about the men who pursued the women they love? isn't that a defiance of the laws of this philosophy. they didn't not let things just happen, they did everything in their power to win the heart of that certain person they love. and then here comes descartes saying everything that can be doubted shuold be abolished well i say we should get rid of buddhist philosophy if that is so and every other philosophy because everything was doubted but then that would lead to the abolishing of descartes law because his philosophy is also dicey and dubious which would then lead into us keeping this philosophy working for us.. what a cycle... but then again we need these kind of thinking to keep our perspectives right on track. really gives me a headache just writing about it and i think i'm talikng nonsensically already.

haha, how can something that started with a math exam and me seeing my crush end up onto a philosophical discussion with myself?

i'm starting to sound like a on-the-loose psychiatric patient.